In the Abbot's Office
On the first afternoon we all walk over to the head abbot's office for our initiation. Off the main road within the temple, we walk down a short path that is beautifully landscaped into the waiting room of his office. Pra Ajaan (teaching monk) Supan sits on a raised platform. To his left, on a low desk on the floor sits Meechi ('Nun') Pon Pit. He wears the bright orange robe that all monks wear, while she is garbed in loose white pants, shirt and sash. Both of their heads are shaven bald. Between the door and where they are sitting, is an altar with a Buddha as well as other religious relics. Getting down on our knees at the door, we first prostrate 3 times to the Buddha, then 3 times to the monk, and then wei (placing our hands together in the traditional Thai greeting) to the nun. Staying on our knees we waddle over to where we will sit on the floor.
We are beginning a ceremony which signifies the completion for those who have spent the last 10 days in meditation, and the initiation for those of us who have just arrived. Pra Ajaan Supan is sitting cross-legged watching us. He is one of those rare human beings who radiates love and joyfulness from deep within his core. There is a sense of presence about him that is inspirational. It is an honour to be around such a holy man. One can feel the depth of his spirituality by simply being in his presence. Later, as I get to spend more time with him, I realize that he sees and communicates on a level I cannot yet begin to comprehend, but that I can feel to the very depth of my being.
Meechi Pon Pit radiates a beautific smile filled with unconditional love and joy. I have heard it said that a good singer pulls the notes from deep within her belly, not from her throat or mouth. I wouldn't know because I can hardly pull notes from my mouth. Meechi Pon Pit’s joyful love comes from deep within her soul. While it may be instinctive now, I suspect that this joyfulness comes from a lifetime of deep spiritual commitment and practice. There is no doubt in my mind that we are going to be blessed to have spiritual teachers that one usually only hears about in books.
The ceremony is all in Pali, the original language of Buddhism that originally came from India. It is quite an interesting ceremony although I have to admit that I feel distracted. Everything from the special décor of this room, which includes a picture of the Dali Lama and another monk who I later find out to be the predecessor of this abbot, watching the graceful beauty of Phra Ajaan Supan and Meechi Pon Pit, the loud noise of construction that is taking place outside the office this day, and the pain in my body from having to attempt to sit upright on the floor for a length of time, pulls my thoughts in many different directions. Never the less, the ceremony is moving, and I feel proud to be embarking on a very special experience.
Each day afterwards, we report to this office at 2 p.m. for about 10 minutes of individual teachings and instruction about our practice. Arriving a bit early on the second day, I sit in the waiting room to await my turn. At 2 p.m. precisely, Meechi Pon Pit enters through the waiting room and opens the locked office. One of the corner stones of Buddhism is mindfulness, the ability to observe one's thoughts, emotions and actions as they exist in each moment. This ability allows one to live in the here and now (rather than the nether region of the there and the then, where most of us reside), detaching oneself from insecure needs and liberating oneself from the illusions of life. This is the path towards the elimination of life's problematic issues, i.e. suffering, and eventually towards the realm of enlightenment.
The physical movements Of Meechi Pon Pit seem beautifully mindful. Each movement is done slowly and deliberately. With her right hand, she slowly opens the screen door, walks into the waiting room, and slowly closes the door. There is no doubt that her mind is paying attention to each movement she makes. She proceeds to do this as she unlocks the office door, opens it, turns on the light, then the fan and walks inside. Slow, deliberate, mindful actions portraying a woman living within the experience of her mind, emotions and body.
Pra Ajaan Supan is usually our teacher. As his English is not as good as Meechi Pon Pit, she often acts as his translator. Standing out for me more than his actual instructions, some of which are extremely useful and insightful, is his presence that embodies the teachings. His level of comfort within himself is palpable and puts me at each.
Each day, in a very quiet voice, he asks me how I have been doing with my practice and patiently waits while I give whatever answer I am able to come up with. He listens with full attention and doesn't say a word until he is sure that I am finished. The general theme is always the same. Rather than judging myself as to whether what I am doing is good or bad, right or wrong, I am to simply notice what is going on. I am to notice my thoughts, to be aware of my emotions, to recognize the way I drift off and how I come back, to simply sit with physical pain. I am not to try to change anything, push through any issues, or decrease what I don't like. Without ever saying so, he is inviting me to have the same unconditional acceptance of myself that he has for me.
Every day he gives some new instructions about the technique of meditating. These techniques are always very simple. In walking meditation, one simply tries to focus one's mind on the actual movement of one's foot. We walk in slow motion. Lifting the foot off the floor, moving it forward, placing it back down on the floor. There are six stages to this meditation; each one adding one additional slow movement. All we are encouraged to do is pay attention to our body movements. Nothing could be simpler, and, I have learned, nothing could be more difficult. The mind is like a monkey in the jungle, the Buddhists sometimes like saying, jumping wildly from one branch to another. I am amazed at how challenging it is to keep one's mind focused for even one second. In one little step, my mind is capable of creating whole stories.
In sitting meditation, we focus on the rising and falling of our breath. After a few days we add additional observations, such as noticing how we are sitting, and a series of energy points in the body. Again, the techniques are so simple, but so difficult to do. When we become aware of thoughts, we are to silently say: thinking……thinking……thinking…… and then return to focusing on the breath; rising…… falling……
During meditation anything and everything can and will come up. There are so many branches for the mind to jump to, and from morning to night it does just that. During these retreats, I move through so many different experiences. I feel ever so calm, a beautiful sense of being at peace…… I walk through a path noticing details of trees, bushes, the building…… I am so restless, I can't stand another minute of having to sit here…… Exhaustion overwhelms me, I want to escape into deep, deep sleep……I feel an overwhelming surge of love for Lucy and wonder where she is right now…… I want to argue with Pra Ajaan Supan, get him to realize how difficult this is…… I feel such appreciation for the teachings I am receiving…… I feel competitive with the other meditators…… I am worn down by pain, I can only take it for so many hours in a day…… I overcome pain, it seems so easy this moment…… My mind is racing, I am a million miles away…… I release a breath and for a short moment I am fully present…… I never want to do this again, never, never!!!…… I want to devote myself to a lifetime of meditation!!! After awhile it becomes obvious that none of these thoughts are reality, or a definition of who I am, but rather just an expression of the moment. As he likes to remind us, all moments, all experiences are impermanent. There is no reason to hold onto them, just become aware of what is passing through at the moment.
Pra Ajaan Supan sometimes has teachings, usually in very simple parables or stories. Sometimes they make sense, at other times something gets lost in translation, but I always leave inspired. When he speaks, it is as if he is in another zone, and the lessons are received below the words. He often speaks in Thai for Meechi Pon Pit to translate in English, but on a body energetic level, the knowing is received before I hear the words in English. In these moments, I know that I am in the presence of a true Master.
Occasionally Pra Ajaan Supan is called away, and Meechi Pon Pit becomes our teacher. I soon discover that she is a gifted teacher in her own right. No matter what statement I bring to her, she looks at me with a smile that comes from a deep sense of being at peace, and encourages me to simply notice what I am going through. Regardless of how I feel before I enter my brief session with her, I always leave knowing that she is nothing more or less than a mirror onto the truth. Her centered stillness invites me to look at myself with unconditional love. As I notice where I am at this moment, I move through this experience and allow myself to arrive with the next experience hand in hand. Like a young child I move through this emotion, and that thought, and always find an open door waiting for me. And in those moments of being stuck, and there are so many of those, I eventually notice that the portal is always there, waiting for me when I am ready to let go of outcome and simply be with who I am.
The closing ceremony is a repeat of the ceremony on the first day, although this time, we are celebrating our conclusion, while a new group of people is being initiated. There is a wonderful sense of completion. For more years than I can count, I have talked about learning to meditate from teachers who are connected to the old ways. I have no doubt that this has been as authentic a teaching as I could ever hope to experience. Lucy and I give gratitude for the deeply spiritual people of this temple, and to ourselves for having the tenacity to stick through this process. In the short time that we spend in each retreat, it always seems as if we have moved through many lifetimes
We are beginning a ceremony which signifies the completion for those who have spent the last 10 days in meditation, and the initiation for those of us who have just arrived. Pra Ajaan Supan is sitting cross-legged watching us. He is one of those rare human beings who radiates love and joyfulness from deep within his core. There is a sense of presence about him that is inspirational. It is an honour to be around such a holy man. One can feel the depth of his spirituality by simply being in his presence. Later, as I get to spend more time with him, I realize that he sees and communicates on a level I cannot yet begin to comprehend, but that I can feel to the very depth of my being.
Meechi Pon Pit radiates a beautific smile filled with unconditional love and joy. I have heard it said that a good singer pulls the notes from deep within her belly, not from her throat or mouth. I wouldn't know because I can hardly pull notes from my mouth. Meechi Pon Pit’s joyful love comes from deep within her soul. While it may be instinctive now, I suspect that this joyfulness comes from a lifetime of deep spiritual commitment and practice. There is no doubt in my mind that we are going to be blessed to have spiritual teachers that one usually only hears about in books.
The ceremony is all in Pali, the original language of Buddhism that originally came from India. It is quite an interesting ceremony although I have to admit that I feel distracted. Everything from the special décor of this room, which includes a picture of the Dali Lama and another monk who I later find out to be the predecessor of this abbot, watching the graceful beauty of Phra Ajaan Supan and Meechi Pon Pit, the loud noise of construction that is taking place outside the office this day, and the pain in my body from having to attempt to sit upright on the floor for a length of time, pulls my thoughts in many different directions. Never the less, the ceremony is moving, and I feel proud to be embarking on a very special experience.
Each day afterwards, we report to this office at 2 p.m. for about 10 minutes of individual teachings and instruction about our practice. Arriving a bit early on the second day, I sit in the waiting room to await my turn. At 2 p.m. precisely, Meechi Pon Pit enters through the waiting room and opens the locked office. One of the corner stones of Buddhism is mindfulness, the ability to observe one's thoughts, emotions and actions as they exist in each moment. This ability allows one to live in the here and now (rather than the nether region of the there and the then, where most of us reside), detaching oneself from insecure needs and liberating oneself from the illusions of life. This is the path towards the elimination of life's problematic issues, i.e. suffering, and eventually towards the realm of enlightenment.
The physical movements Of Meechi Pon Pit seem beautifully mindful. Each movement is done slowly and deliberately. With her right hand, she slowly opens the screen door, walks into the waiting room, and slowly closes the door. There is no doubt that her mind is paying attention to each movement she makes. She proceeds to do this as she unlocks the office door, opens it, turns on the light, then the fan and walks inside. Slow, deliberate, mindful actions portraying a woman living within the experience of her mind, emotions and body.
Pra Ajaan Supan is usually our teacher. As his English is not as good as Meechi Pon Pit, she often acts as his translator. Standing out for me more than his actual instructions, some of which are extremely useful and insightful, is his presence that embodies the teachings. His level of comfort within himself is palpable and puts me at each.
Each day, in a very quiet voice, he asks me how I have been doing with my practice and patiently waits while I give whatever answer I am able to come up with. He listens with full attention and doesn't say a word until he is sure that I am finished. The general theme is always the same. Rather than judging myself as to whether what I am doing is good or bad, right or wrong, I am to simply notice what is going on. I am to notice my thoughts, to be aware of my emotions, to recognize the way I drift off and how I come back, to simply sit with physical pain. I am not to try to change anything, push through any issues, or decrease what I don't like. Without ever saying so, he is inviting me to have the same unconditional acceptance of myself that he has for me.
Every day he gives some new instructions about the technique of meditating. These techniques are always very simple. In walking meditation, one simply tries to focus one's mind on the actual movement of one's foot. We walk in slow motion. Lifting the foot off the floor, moving it forward, placing it back down on the floor. There are six stages to this meditation; each one adding one additional slow movement. All we are encouraged to do is pay attention to our body movements. Nothing could be simpler, and, I have learned, nothing could be more difficult. The mind is like a monkey in the jungle, the Buddhists sometimes like saying, jumping wildly from one branch to another. I am amazed at how challenging it is to keep one's mind focused for even one second. In one little step, my mind is capable of creating whole stories.
In sitting meditation, we focus on the rising and falling of our breath. After a few days we add additional observations, such as noticing how we are sitting, and a series of energy points in the body. Again, the techniques are so simple, but so difficult to do. When we become aware of thoughts, we are to silently say: thinking……thinking……thinking…… and then return to focusing on the breath; rising…… falling……
During meditation anything and everything can and will come up. There are so many branches for the mind to jump to, and from morning to night it does just that. During these retreats, I move through so many different experiences. I feel ever so calm, a beautiful sense of being at peace…… I walk through a path noticing details of trees, bushes, the building…… I am so restless, I can't stand another minute of having to sit here…… Exhaustion overwhelms me, I want to escape into deep, deep sleep……I feel an overwhelming surge of love for Lucy and wonder where she is right now…… I want to argue with Pra Ajaan Supan, get him to realize how difficult this is…… I feel such appreciation for the teachings I am receiving…… I feel competitive with the other meditators…… I am worn down by pain, I can only take it for so many hours in a day…… I overcome pain, it seems so easy this moment…… My mind is racing, I am a million miles away…… I release a breath and for a short moment I am fully present…… I never want to do this again, never, never!!!…… I want to devote myself to a lifetime of meditation!!! After awhile it becomes obvious that none of these thoughts are reality, or a definition of who I am, but rather just an expression of the moment. As he likes to remind us, all moments, all experiences are impermanent. There is no reason to hold onto them, just become aware of what is passing through at the moment.
Pra Ajaan Supan sometimes has teachings, usually in very simple parables or stories. Sometimes they make sense, at other times something gets lost in translation, but I always leave inspired. When he speaks, it is as if he is in another zone, and the lessons are received below the words. He often speaks in Thai for Meechi Pon Pit to translate in English, but on a body energetic level, the knowing is received before I hear the words in English. In these moments, I know that I am in the presence of a true Master.
Occasionally Pra Ajaan Supan is called away, and Meechi Pon Pit becomes our teacher. I soon discover that she is a gifted teacher in her own right. No matter what statement I bring to her, she looks at me with a smile that comes from a deep sense of being at peace, and encourages me to simply notice what I am going through. Regardless of how I feel before I enter my brief session with her, I always leave knowing that she is nothing more or less than a mirror onto the truth. Her centered stillness invites me to look at myself with unconditional love. As I notice where I am at this moment, I move through this experience and allow myself to arrive with the next experience hand in hand. Like a young child I move through this emotion, and that thought, and always find an open door waiting for me. And in those moments of being stuck, and there are so many of those, I eventually notice that the portal is always there, waiting for me when I am ready to let go of outcome and simply be with who I am.
The closing ceremony is a repeat of the ceremony on the first day, although this time, we are celebrating our conclusion, while a new group of people is being initiated. There is a wonderful sense of completion. For more years than I can count, I have talked about learning to meditate from teachers who are connected to the old ways. I have no doubt that this has been as authentic a teaching as I could ever hope to experience. Lucy and I give gratitude for the deeply spiritual people of this temple, and to ourselves for having the tenacity to stick through this process. In the short time that we spend in each retreat, it always seems as if we have moved through many lifetimes
posted by Ralph at 11:38 AM
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